Government Cheese a Hedge Against Inflation

Filed under disturbing, I was just paid a visit by my future-self. He told me several horrible things.


1. Even though I despise Apple and have nothing but contempt for the iPhone, I eventually break down and buy one. I guess it was the only way to get back to 2009 from 2032. With the iPhone 25 if you want to go back in time...There's an app for that!

2. Obama is still the president. Obama finally did what George Bush could not...destroy the Constitution. Great....

3. He did give me some investment advice so it wasn't all bad. While the Dollar does eventually collapse under the weight of out of control spending, it turns out that Government Cheese becomes our new currency. Government cheese becomes a tasty hedge against inflation. It consists of a variety of cheese types and other ingredients such as emulsifiers blended together, and comes in the following denominations: cheddar cheese, Colby cheese, cheese curd, and granular cheese.

4. He told me that I really needed to resist the urge to eat my savings, aside from not really making any financial sense, Government Cheese isn't particularly healthy (some things never change I guess). Under Obamacare there is over a 26 month wait for heart bypass surgeries. I'll start a cardio program now I guess.

5. Of course the most disturbing thing of all was the fact that I'm still bald. Screw bypass surgery, if Obamacare doesn't cover Propecia, what is the point of living anyway?

So there you go...grim news from the 2030s. Has your future-self come back with iPhone in hand? Tell me about it.